The answer to everything you worry about with your kids

I’d like to consider myself a pretty well adjusted adult… and then I had children. As I write this post, my oldest is in first grade. These first couple years of having school aged kids have been very challenging to my mama heart. I’ve learned that I actually do worry quite a bit more than I thought was even possible for me. I’ve never been a worrier. My cup is always half full. I could have been the poster child for ‘Give it to God and go to bed’. God’s got it could be my life slogan. That was before kids.

I LOVE being a mom and will forever be grateful for the blessing of it. In so many ways I’m better for it. Becoming a mom has revealed things about me that I just did not realize were there. Some aren’t so pretty. One of them is how much I worry about all things to do with my kids.

Will my kids make friends? Will they be a good friend? Will their friends be good friends? Will they do well in school? Will they need extra help? Who will help them? Will they feel safe at school? Will they feel comfortable to talk to someone if they need help? Will they miss me? Will I miss them (HAHA of course I will miss them…….. what if I don’t miss them??? Does that make me a bad mom?). What if something happens and no one is there to help them? What if I forget to put their library books in their backpacks? Am I feeding them enough nutritious foods? Will my oldest ever eat a vegetable? Are they eating their lunches at school? Are they hungry? Did I remember to check the label on that new snack I just packed for bad ingredients? Are they going to the bathroom at school? What if I don’t have money for Tuesday bagel day and they don’t get a bagel????

God loves our kids more than we do

I’ve learned my new life slogan could be more like, ‘God’s got it, unless it’s something to do with my kids…. then clearly God needs my help’. Now, intellectually, I know that’s not true. God loves my kids even more than I do and is working all things for their good. He’s making a way for them and drawing them to Him. Emotionally, I’m a mess. I just want to shelter them and protect them from everything… but as someone very wise once told me: We cannot steal our kids testimonies.

Sometimes our kids will go through hard things, we all do. It’s what makes us who we are. God uses our suffering to mold and shape us into people who reflect Jesus that much more.

God uses our kids to sanctify us

The beautiful part about having kids is how God uses the relationship to draw us closer to Him. He uses our kids to sanctify us. For me, it has exposed some ugly parts of myself. It has not always been fun, but I know God is working on me and I’m so grateful that He hasn’t given up on me. (He hasn’t given up on you either by the way.) Something like worrying just wasn’t part of my personality until I had kids. I’ve had to really put my faith and hope in Christ when it comes to even the silliest of things with my kids. Yes, I pull out all the stops and praise Jesus when we are running late on stinking bagel day at school but there are still bagels available. Hallelujah! Before kids, I would have thought this was idiotic – I”m going to praise Jesus for a bagel??? Yup. I’ve praised Jesus for a bagel.

I know that last one is quite silly, but trust me I worry about it! I have a whole slew more of things that I can get myself worried about when it comes to my kids. Every time I start down that downward spiral of worry I feel a familiar nudge. That still small voice. The Holy Spirit helping me out of the dark pit, again.

The root of worry is pride

The root of worry is actually our pride. When I let something like worry consume my thoughts I’m replacing God with a different ‘god’ – worry. In the moment I would never say that I think I know better than God, or that He’s not big enough to work it all out for my family’s good. That sounds insane to me. But when I worry that is exactly what I’m doing. Of course, that is my biggest problem – I do not realize this in the moment. It can even feel like I care more about my kids because I worry. But God asks us to trust Him. To keep our peace. We are called to give our worries to God and have hope in Him.

Philippians 4:6-7
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God" 

Matthew 6:34
"Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble" 

1 Peter 5:7
"Cast all your anxiety on [God] because he cares for you" 

John 14:27
"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid" 

Prioritize God

When we prioritize first things first, wisdom rules over us. When I spend time with God it changes how I look at things. It restores peace and joy in my soul and by extension into my home. So when I begin to worry about something that has to do with my kids I can refocus on what God says. I can have faith that God has gone before me and my family and is with us. That He is working it all out for our good because we love him.

Romans 8:28 
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

Situations do not change, I do

This doesn’t mean that bad things won’t happen, that the situations where I can worry the most won’t pop up. Spoiler alert: there have been days when we do not get a bagel and yes, we did survive. Library books did not make it back on time and yes, we also survived that. The difference between seasons where I’m spending consistent time with God and seasons I am not is NOT that everything goes right. We still run late, forget to do things on our schedule, the hot mess express is still very much in motion. It’s that I can confidently give God my worries in those moments and know that I can trust Him with them and with my kids. I keep a peace and joy that has real power. The more consistent I am with keeping God first and having a deep and meaningful relationship with Him the faster I get at casting down worry.

Peaceful Mamas will preach

When we are focused on God and make Him a priority in our lives we are able to put worry where it should go, into the hands of Jesus. It doesn’t really matter at the end of the day whether bagels were eaten or library books were returned. It’s how we act that matters. It’s what is in our hearts that count. A peaceful mama in the whirlwind of chaos and stress will preach. Our kiddos are watching and they will see Jesus shining through us if we choose to not worry but trust that God’s got them.