mama, Fill your cup

So many exhausted nights. So many regrets of not being as patient as I wished I was. I should have been kinder to my kindergartener when she used the never ending stories as a stahl tactic at bed time. I should have smiled more at my toddler instead of blank stairs and ‘what in the world are you screaming about now’ faces. Why didn’t I stop trying to clean up the house and just play with my preschooler while he still wants to play with his mama? And then there’s the guilt of not being the wife my husband deserves.

Let’s say it like it is

Of course this is all non sense and fuel the devil uses against us. That guilty feeling of not measuring up, of not being enough, of not doing something you think you should have or should not have done… is a LIE. Yes, we need to be walking in the spirit so we have Godly wisdom on how to live according to His word. However, having a daily pity party (because that’s what it is) is straight from the pit of Hell.

We were not created to feel condemned, guilty, or bad about ourselves. We are not a victim. Our kids were not sent from the devil to drive us crazy. Our husbands were not hand selected by the father of lies to send us to an insane asylum. Husbands are our partners and spiritual leaders. Children are blessings from God to raise in His word. If we mess up or have a bad day… joy comes in the morning. We get unlimited second chances in God’s economy. Feeling guilty only keeps you in your own personal pit longer. If we mess up we need to ask God to forgive us, ask for wisdom, apologize to our kids or spouse or whoever we need to and move on. With Jesus we need to break these crazy chains and simply try to do better next time.

running on empty

I’ve noticed in myself that this is not an ‘I’m not enough’ problem. This is an ‘I’m empty’ problem. I can’t give away what I do not have. We cannot be everything to everyone and do all the things if we do not first fill our own cup.

How to fill your cup

Sometimes filling our cup is about self care. Getting a babysitter to go get your nails done or take a walk on your favorite trail. Finding a quiet space in your day when you can make a cup of coffee and actually drink it hot while reading a good book. Just finding an opportunity to do something you enjoy without other responsibilities.

The best way to fill your cup (IMO) is quiet time with God. I know this ‘quiet time’ is a luxury for busy moms (and dads!) and seems impossible. The traditional hour in the morning of reading your bible and praying may not be possible. But I bet if we get creative we can figure out time in our day to give to God. If we can find time to scroll Facebook or Instagram or any other social media app, we can find time for God. Check out this post for some ideas and encouragement for spending time with Jesus daily.

God pays it forward

The amazing and completely not logical thing about giving our time to God is that He always gives it back in spades. Somehow on days I spend time with Him, I’m still able to get things done. Things that I didn’t think I’d be able to if I didn’t spend every minute trying to get my to-do list accomplished. He knows what He wants us to get done and what to let go for the day. Spending time with Jesus is never a waste of time. I would argue that it actually gives you time back. He breaths wisdom into your day that perfectly orchestrates it.

Just a note

For some mama’s out there this will speak to your soul. However, I know there are some of you that are going through extremely tough situations. A day of filling your cup might look different than a typical burned out mama running on fumes. Just keeping your joy and continuing to follow Jesus even in the mess around you might be how you keep your cup full. A good day might be clinging to the hope you have in God’s timing, purpose, and plan for your life. We never know what the person next to us is going through. Showing God’s love, grace, patience, generosity, etc. can go a very long way.

I heard a story today of a high school girl that showed generosity by giving another girl at school an old backpack because she didn’t have one. The girl didn’t think much of it. She was a christian and felt it was the right thing to do. Ten years later at a class reunion the girl who received the backpack explained how that one act of generosity led her to Christ and changed her life forever.

The power of community

I recently heard an amazing testimony by a woman at my church. She very bravely told a crowd of women personal things that hurt her deeply. One of which was when she discovered her husband had been cheating on her. They had children, had leadership roles in their church, and she was completely blindsided. She was crushed, embarrassed, and lost. They tried to make it work, but ended up getting a divorce. She said she felt incredibly alone. Until she discovered other woman at church that were going through similar situations. One by one God brought a beautiful group of women together. They realized that their situations weren’t unusual and just happening to them. They found encouragement and relief in a group of women that supported each other and loved on each other through one of the darkest times in their lives.

God brought healing and joy back to these women through each other. If you are going through a very difficult time. Please do not do it alone. Do not believe the lie that no one else could ever understand or that you need to keep it secret for some reason. We do not have to tell the world our problems, but there should always be a trusted friend or someone at your church that you can feel safe talking with. God uses community to build us up and mold us into the people we were always meant to be.

Being a mom is a blessing

Being a mom can mean dirty messy hair with stained clothes you’ve worn for a couple days. It can be laughing at a joke that literally makes no sense or kissing a boo boo to make it all better. There are hard days. Long days. Crazy days. But it’s also about the love we give to our kiddos that reflects Jesus’ love for them. It’s about getting to be the most special person in the entire world to a little peanut. Mamas get boogers and tears, but we also get hugs and sloppy kisses. Who wouldn’t want that? Being a mom is such a blessing even in the chaos.

Conclusion

Fill your cup with self care and spending time daily with Jesus so you can give your family the overflow. If your cup is empty you won’t have anything overflowing to give.

Skip the pity party and go straight to God for forgiveness and wisdom to do better next time.

Spending time with God is never wasted.

Never go through life feeling alone. If you’re in a tough season make sure you have trusted people you can talk with and who can walk with you trough it. There should always be someone at the church you can reach out to.

Being a mom is a blessing.